10 Tips for Fresh Graduates - The Cold Hard Truth of Workplace

It has been more than 3 years since I started my first full-time job. Now that it is time to leave and move on to a new workplace as part of my career plan, I can't help pondering on the valuable experiences and wonderful knowledge I have acquired throughout my tenure. As I depart, I left behind my work desks, my stationeries, my tasks, my colleagues, but brought along with me the fond memories and relevant skills gained over the years. To commemorate my career progression, here are 10 tips I have come out with which I thought would be useful especially for young fresh recruits.


1. Dress to impress

Just kidding. You don't need to TRY to impress anyone. But you should at least have that signature look that defines who you are. It could be your pink power suit, your little grey dress, your nude suede pump heels, or even your simple tied-up bun. That being said, you should not go overboard with luxury by showing off your material possession. After all, you wouldn't want to be labelled as "the spoilt rich brat who goes to work with her Chanel bag". 

At my previous work place, all the girls (and I mean ALL) carry pretty decent branded bags with the most expensive being YSL and Prada. Then there were some LV, Gucci and Burberry. Sometimes some Michael Kors and Kate Spade. Nobody carries a brandless bag IDK why, probably cause we work at Uptown and we are supposedly "Uptown Girls" wtf. A few months into the job, I decided to get myself a black Saffiano leather working bag from Tory Burch. Not too shabby, not too flashy. It spells professionalism with a hint of elegance. 

Anyway, you shouldn't have to intentionally purchase a designer bag to build an identity. But always make sure to dress well because first impression matters, especially when you are new. 

2. Team work

Screw that boring team work definition they used to teach you in school! Team work is not just about working on assignments together, gathering differing opinions prior to the final decision, making use of each individuals' talents to accomplish a common mission etc. IMO, team work could be about having lunch together as bonding sessions, keeping quiet when your coworkers "accidentally" come in late for work, helping your coworkers with that annoying phone call he refuses to pick up, or heck, even having the "same, certain" kind of opinion on your favourite lady boss. 

Team work is about being within that invisible circle of loyalty. To gain each other's trust that you blend in perfectly as part of the team, that you are not a betrayer, a whistle-blower, a social outcast. Don't be that person who packs lunch to work while everyone else eats out. Because truthfully, lunch time is when the real bonding happens. It is also the time when you discover your mutual love and hatred. 

3. The learning process is different

Always take the initiative to learn. In school, the students' objective is to learn, whereas the lecturers' objective is to teach. But at work, your boss did not hire you to learn, but rather, to complete your task and generate revenue for the organization (or to incur expenses, if you are from the cost centres). Teaching is the last of their priorities, because ain't nobody got time for that. However, when you are new, it is important that you learn as much as possible within your first 2 years. Because after those 2 years, people would really start judging you if you still ask stupid questions. 

But nobody will bother to teach you unless you ask. As you face difficulties, write down immediately, compile your questions and find a suitable opportunities to consult your supervisor/mentor. More often than not there is no perfect time to ask, because they are like so busy the whole damn time! So sometimes you have to be thick skin abit without being too irritating LOL.

After 3.5 years, my mentor still repeats the story of me being an annoying prick asking her questions when she was busy. Sorry lah, cause she was never not busy, so I had no choice XD At least I didn't ask her the same question twice! Make sure to write down everything they teach you on your note and refer back instead of asking them the same thing again. 

4. Persevere

A few months into the job, you may find yourself in a state of confusion thinking whether you have chosen the right path. You would be scared; you would be lost; you would start questioning yourself whether the job suits you (or vice versa), or is there something better out there you have yet to explore. The job would start to appear mundane, and you would stare into your computer screen feeling an everlasting state of emptiness.

Don't be that irresponsible millennial who gives up as soon as you have these thoughts. Instead, give yourself some time and allow yourself to work from different perspectives. Perhaps, try doing certain things differently? Or start picking up new challenges you have never encountered before. TBH, I experienced this during the first few months of my job. I chose to stay on. And it took me quite a few months to "finally see the light at the end of the tunnel". Because before I realized, I have started enjoying my once-seemingly-boring job and I even thought I was good at it. It is not my timid self settling for an imperfect job, but rather, I have discovered the fun within, and the reason I chose this path in the first place.

5. Be prepared for demanding expectations

At 6.30pm, your boss would expect you to stay and wait while he/she checks your work. Because like hello why do you need social life? Work is priority! *eye roll* Regardless whether it was a weekend or public holiday, when you receive a text from your boss, you are expected to reply immediately or risk facing their sarcastic criticisms during the next meeting. Some bosses even expect you to enter the office during weekends (without getting OT pay, obviously). Or deliver work to their house during weekend or public holidays. Or provide them free chauffeur service when their car is sent for repair (to which you should politely suggest them to use Uber or GrabCar instead).

What to do? You can't flip. At least not until the next performance appraisal is over and when you are ready to leave.

6. Forget about sympathy and empathy

One of the culture shock you may experience as you enter the work force is the coldness of society. You know how your friends and family used to console you with words of encouragement during the down period of your life? Like when you fail your exam, when you break up with your boyfriend, when you lost your iPhone, or when your dog dies? Well don't expect the same from your workplace, especially not from your superior. In fact, don't even mention on the calamity that struck you, because then they would start to observe your performance at work. 

Whether or not your boyfriend dumps you is the last thing your boss wants to know. What matters to him/her is whether you can help the team achieve the KPI.

7. Be ready to be tested by superiors on your priorities

There are times when your boss would start testing your priorities to gauge how dedicated you are to the team. This is when you have to think of a bigger picture and start to let go certain things. For example, when your boss is unhappy about you taking a long-week of study leave. Work matters, but your exam is equally important too. How are you going to make your decision? 

That was what happened to me at the early stage of my working days. At that point of time, the fact that I had to compromise was simply ridiculous, because I was merely utilizing my entitlement. On written policy, it was perfectly fine for me to do so, but on the other hand, your boss is the one who reports on your performance evaluation. I was so emotional I even went to the car park and cried wtf (nobody knew this, because why show them your weakness?). In the end, I compromised, cut my leave short and made my boss happy :/

8. Your job is not your entire life

Being dedicated to your job and establishing your career from it is great. But don't overdo it to the extent that it affects your health. Nobody will pity you and appreciate your sacrifice for the company if you ever fall ill from fatigue (which brings us back to point no. 6). If you OT everyday, you certainly do not fall under the best employee category. Your boss would questioning your efficiency, and your colleagues would start hating you for making them look bad. 

Work smart, not work hard. On job, you work smart to achieve the greatest performance with the least effort. Off the job, you maintain a balanced and healthy lifestyle. Remember that your job is not your everything and you do have a life outside work. 

9. Keep your secrets far from work

If you think it is okay to share secrets from your personal life with your work bff, think twice. Dirty secrets spread like wild fire. The next thing you know, colleagues from other branches would all be well-informed of your stories. And while we are at this topic, don't shit where you eat! (not literally) If you fancy an affair, target your prey off the workplace. Don't be known by the whole organization as the shameless cheater, because reputation does matter. 

10. Be careful what you share on social media

Some companies have strict policies against sharing on social media. At my previous organization, we are forbidden from sharing photos from company event especially those bearing their name or logo. Regardless of the occasional email reminder from HR, people still share their photos frequently on Facebook which was super amazeballs because I would never do that to jeopardize my job (but mainly because I don't want people to know where I work la LOL). Still, the fact that others are doing it does not mean that it is acceptable and okay to do so. You never know when you are going to be the unlucky one to be targeted by your HR. Better be safe than to be sorry.


All the best to all young fresh grads who are stepping into the working society! :)

Wedding Ceremony - an extravagant affair

Wedding ceremonies, especially the traditional Chinese wedding banquet are so overrated and outdated. No offence, but if you have had a wedding ceremony recently, I totally respect your personal decision. I acknowledge the fact that it is probably a mandatory tradition in some families. For me, I am so glad that my dad agrees that wedding ceremony is something additional that we could get rid of. He is totally cool with not having a ceremony if I ever get married in the future (I believe he feels the same for his son and not just daughter). 

As for my mum, she totally hates the idea of the traditional Chinese wedding. I listened to her old wedding story which she described as "putting on a show for strangers you have never met before". She was so close to turning into a bridezilla being rushed here and there and being demanded to get things done. That night, the guests yumseng all the way and finished countless bottles of liquor. And then that was the end of it. Hard-earned cash spent for nothing. Meaningless. Funny that was the most memorable thing she could recall about the wedding wtf. There is no doubt that she is still feeling bitter about it after all these years. And ironically we all thought wedding is supposed to be a happy moment shared by 2 individuals who devote their lives to each other.

Wedding day is never about the guests, but rather, the husband and wife. It is a beautiful day when the couple share their vows and proclaim their love for one another. It is the day when they promise to stay by each other through thick and thin, health and sickness, joy and sorrow, good and bad. It is the beginning of an eternal life living together as one new unit.

In the past, people often have their wedding banquet in hopes of earning some profits from the ang pow. I never knew this was possible! They actually still gained after deducting all relevant costs. But times are no longer the same, A decent wedding banquet in the city these days costs a minimum of RM2k per table. Considering that your guest gives you ang pow of RM200 each on average, you could still cover your table cost, But how about your liquor, deco, emcee etc? Those costs make up a significant amount and chances are there is no way you will be able to break even at the end of the day. 

As millennials, we can barely afford to buy a house. Why should we be splurging our life-time savings for a wedding and invite family's friends, distant relatives, strangers, most of whom we can't even tell the names, and some of whom we are actually meeting for the very first time? We don't need an unnecessary ceremony to prove our love. After all, wedding does not guarantee our lifetime happiness. 

How I Gained My Self-Esteem

Recently, a uni mate reminded me of something I used to say back then. There was once he complimented my looks, but I insisted that I looked bad that day because I didn't have my make up on. Looking back, I was once a teenage girl with low self-esteem who could hardly step out of the house without layers of eyeliners.

Years later, I could finally roam free with my completely bare face. I am still the same me with the same face, but with more confidence.

What could have possibly made me believe that make up was essential and that I would be ugly without?

In fact, there were numerous time when I had nightmares about losing my teeth. Run a search on Google and it would interpret that it was due to my obsession on physical appearance.

Growing up in my household, I did not receive much compliments from the family. If I were to receive a comment on my look, it would be my clothes are weird, my face gotten bigger, my hair not well-groomed, my cheek bone too high, my eyes too ugly etc. The constant criticisms had somehow made me into who I was, a girl who was insecure about her looks, and who would never know how beautiful she was.

Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to point the fingers and condemn anyone here. I totally understand that my family is super Asian, hence they are never good in giving praises and showing affection. It is not something they do deliberately to put someone down, but rather a norm that continues in the family. 

This habit will stop from my generation onwards. 

When I have kids one day, I will refrain from throwing criticisms that would discourage them, but rather shower them with compliments that they deserve. Of course, I would not do this just to my future kids, but to others around me as well. 

One of the factors that made me gain my confidence was a man who always tells me how beautiful I am and how he prefers me without my make up, because that is truly who I am. He knows the power of praises and thinks that by doing so, he could brighten up someone's day. He does it to both men and women equally, and always meant what he says. He believes that the compliments should be genuine thoughts that come from the heart, not just some fake polished words uttered to please someone.

Years ago, I was truly a master of criticisms. One of the incidents I can recall is during my trip to Melbourne with my besties, Katie and Jess. We were going to the club for the first time together. Dressed up, did our make up and all. Before we left the house, Katie got upset with me for some nasty comments that I made. Idk what I said that night but it must have been something awful. She told me that girlfriends are supposed to compliment each other before heading to the club (like every girl's unspoken rule prior to clubbing wtf). And that usually her other friends would always tell her how good she looks right before their night out. It made me feel bad and guilty for the rest of the night. I was a horrible friend. I couldn't even do better than her other friends! I had gotten so accustomed to that habit I did not think it would leave any impact on others. Until that incident. Darling if you are reading this, I am glad we are still best friend! Thank you for not hating me forever after what I've done! Lol. 

Never be stingy with compliments. If you think that someone looks good, don't be afraid to tell them so. But if you think they look bad, just shut up and keep your nasty comments to yourself. Nobody wants to hear something negative. By doing so you will not change the fact, but instead will end up destroying their self-esteem. 

Embracing Adulthood

I still remember those days when I first stepped into the actual work force (For those who have yet to know, I actually have a 6-9 full time job although I hardly ever disclose much about work online). I had trouble adjusting my lifestyle to waking up early and reaching home late. Everyday I was just beyond fatigue. I used to stay up late during uni time. But not as soon as I started working. Work, eat, home, sleep. The mundane cycle repeats 5 days a week, one week after another.

Later on, I began to adapt. From sleeping at 10pm, it became 11pm, then eventually 12am. These days, I can hardly doze off before midnight. 

By delaying my sleep time, it gave me ample time to do some other stuff. Like reading or something. LOL okay fine, I admit that at one point of time, I was a complete couch (bed) potato. I would dabao food right after work, watch Korean drama on my MacBook while I eat, proceed to shower and continue watching that drama on my bed. I would just keep watching until it was time to sleep wtf.

One day, I began to question my lifestyle. Work, eat, drama, sleep, repeat. I must be capable of doing way more than that. At the same time I happened to encounter a Japanese client at work. That was when I decided to sign up for Japanese lesson. No hesitation, just paid and attended the class 2 weeks after (and dragged colleague along too lol).

It has been 4 months since I started the lesson. I have passed the Beginner Level and am now at Elementary 1. It was really lucky of us to have been assigned a funny and wonderful sensei whose method of teaching is effective. So far all the classes are fun and I hardly had to force myself to finish the homework since I enjoy it. I have promised myself not to give up until I have become fluent in the language. After that I would sign up for Korean class XD

With the new mall opened at my work place, I have also signed up for gym membership. TBH I am not a sporty person. But these days I feel that my health has been deteriorating rapidly. I get tired from shopping for only half an hour. Every now and then I would fall sick. A few years back, I was still able to shop all day and stay up all night without feeling exhausted. Oh my youth, gone with the wind :(

Just the other day, my bestie and I happened to be at TREC. So we thought, why not drop by Zouk and have a look? Seriously I have never stepped into the new Zouk ever since it shifted. In fact I have stopped clubbing since the final year of uni. What used to be a fun night out had become a tiring affair. I still have my Zouk membership card (don't judge), so we went in and had a quick tour. It was funny cause we were quite lost at the entrance. Didn't know which entrance we were supposed to go to. Didn't want to appear like an idiot in front of other party-goers so I called up Steph (who else would I have called besides the queen of Zouk wtf) and asked for direction wtf. I asked her which way was heading to Phuture and Velvet (well at least I still know the name of the room lol). 

It was 10pm so the club was completely empty, hence allowed us a clearer view of the interior. But the downside was we wouldn't know how the actual party scene is like. Guess we need not know. Because after 5 minutes inside we already felt suffocated by the heavy ciggies odour from the carpet wtf. So yea our tour lasted for 5 minutes. LOL.

I am waking up in 8 hours for an early morning gym session as I am typing this. Don't really know the purpose of this post but I guess my main point is, I am feeling my age catching up and the signs that come along with it. I can't be young and wild and free, but instead I will work my way to becoming wiser, healthier and happier! ^^

10 Years After Graduating - I Feel Free; I Feel Liberated

It is a common saying that school days are the best time of your life. But I beg to differ.

Every now and then, I struggle from nightmares about forgetting an exam, sometimes math, occasionally BM, and more often than not a fcking Sejarah test!

Run a google search on those dreams and it will interpret that you are currently facing a stressful situation in life. My own interpretation: 10 years after graduating, I still can’t get rid of my exam anxieties!

I was from an all-girl school, one of the prestigious schools in that small town. There were 3 prestigious schools, none of which was a coed. Competition was tough, as everyone strives to stay at the top academically. Back then, my only purpose in life was to remain top 5 in class (because number 1 was impossible so I lowered my target wtf) and to score straight A1 for SPM. Ask me what I want to be next time and I would hesitate to give you my answer, because duh, scoring an exam was my sole purpose in life.

I participated in some curriculum, only because I was forced to, and also because I had to score sufficient points lol. But even as I put on those uniforms, my head couldn’t stop thinking about my text books contents, and how my precious hours could have been spent on revision (can you believe I was such a boring loser wtf).

College was alright, as I no longer felt obliged to be the top, because there was no such ranking as everyone enrolled into different classes. It was more of a battle against myself, to achieve the target I set on my own without a side-by-side comparison with others. What the others achieve has become immaterial. That was when I first learnt how to slack and to tune down my momentum in life.

Later on I graduated and finally entered the work force. That was an entirely different battlefield from my years of education. But after those years of stressful exam anxiety and those aspirations to remain at the top, pressures from work is really quite acceptable (lady boss if you so happen to be reading this, that does not mean you should gimme more work k I will flip table one =<). Rushing deadlines is inevitable, but it is nothing like panicking the night before your history exam because you simply don’t have the brain capacity to memorize the whole book word-by-word. On and off there are problems that seems impossible to solve given the limited time and resources, but they do not cause quite the same impact from the mathematics questions that I was unable to solve during examinations. I was never a math prodigy, and have only managed to score well after significant hours of tuition and practice.

Now that I am an adult, I do the things I want with the people I like without having to gain the unnecessary permission or approval from anyone. I can splurge on food that I enjoy. Put on as much make up as I want without being judged as a freak. Wear dresses above knee length without getting punished. Share my opinion without feeling fearful for being wrong (because I finally realized that when it comes to opinion, there really isn't a right or wrong). Speak my own mother tongue without being told off (which now that I think about it, what a ridiculous rule. The school restricted us to speaking only BM/English, and if you are caught speaking mandarin you would get punished LOL?).

I am a full-grown adult. I am independent. I enjoy the finest things in life. I take on adventures and seek for the unknowns. I love freedom, a blessing in return for coming of age. Though, sometimes I fear for the future, and my heart skips a beat at the thought of not being financially well to own a house yet. But that’s okay, sooner or later we will all be able to, soon, later, eventually, finally.

Right now, I am living life to the fullest.

I feel free. I feel liberated.

The Kind of Man You Should Marry

Marry a man who chose you out of love, but not out of duty and responsibility.

A man who is determined to spend the rest of his life with you, throughout all possible adversities and hardships.

A man who can grow and learn with you through the experiences you go through together in life.

A man who wakes up and tell you how beautiful you are, and would spend the rest of his life admiring your beauty. 

A man who is excited for a long-time adventure you are ready to take on.

A man who appreciates your humor, your silly jokes and your hysterical laughter which would eventually be the music to his ears. 

A man who doesn't promise not to make you cry, but would wipe your tears and hold you in his arm if you ever do.

A man who is serious in life, yet still knows how to have his fair share of fun.

A man who is ready to take your hand and explore the parts and parcels of this beautiful planet.

A man who takes you to places you have never been and feeds you delicacies that intrigue you.

A man who may have a different set of ideology, yet still able to see the world from you perspectives.

A man who teaches you how to be a better person, yet without changing who you really are.

A man who would always take your side, especially when dealing with bitches.

A man who sees no one else but you as the apple of his eyes.

A man who prioritizes your needs and respects your opinions. 

A man who would never do things that could potentially hurt you, regardless how minor it may be. 

A man who is never afraid to apologize for his mistakes, and who promises to be better next time.

A man who never raises his voice at you regardless how heated your argument may get.

A man who includes you in his plans and considers you before the decisions he makes.

A man who holds on to you and never ever leaves you. 

A man who loves you, and stays in love with you, always and forever. 

Should You Marry Someone of Different Religion?

Snapchat: mscopykate

Growing up, I have always been taught to respect everyone regardless of race or religion. I was born into a Buddhist family who were later on converted into Christians. My dad remained a free thinker, but he always uphold the highest respect for each and every one of our belief. Despite his tendency to lecture us on how our destiny is not controlled by the spiritual being but is within our own hands, he still played badminton with some of our church members, never had problem having short talks with our pastors and sometimes would even gladly attend the events held at the church if he isn't too busy with work. Although he has never truly believe in God, I am glad that he has never once discriminate. And likewise, we would never look down on or distance ourselves from our relatives who are of different religions. And neither would we force them into believing what we deem is is the true path, as we know that they have the rights and freedoms to their own religious beliefs.

It's a shame that religion which is meant for the better good of the world could become a reason for discrimination. My previous encounters have always been us Christians discriminating (sort of) against other religions, as we were continuously taught to only marry someone who believes in God as the basic rule to a happy marriage and blessed family unit. I totally understand where the concern is coming from, as couples of different religions may have arguments later on in life due to their differences. I never really stick to that advice, as I did not want to limit my choices within that religion :x (Besides I don't really meet that many Christians in life. Partly because I don't really go to church lol. But ask my bestie who attends church regularly and she would tell you the same) 

However, sometimes the discrimination comes from other religions who prefer to distance themselves and to avoid marrying their offsprings to Christians because they think that all Christians are evangelists who would constantly persuade them into joining the church and force them to pray before meals and sing worship songs during family gatherings wtf.

(God forbids blasphemy) I couldn't care less if one goes to heaven! I know pastors, devoted Christians and probably even my mum would frown at this selfish thought but really, it's everyone's choice and I seriously don't care. Of course, some people may feel obliged (church pressure lol) to share the gospel at any opportunity they could get because they are constantly reminded to do so, and by doing so they believe that they will be rewarded by His grace and mercy. Can't say the same about me though. 

Okay before I divert too much into sensitive insights which will probably stir up discomfort, the question is should you marry someone of different religion? *deep thoughts emoji*

By now you should have realized there is no right or wrong answer, but merely a matter of perspectives. There is a correlation between the outcome and the level of respect from one another as well as the degree of compromise from each partner. Some may ask, why start something when you foresee problems ahead? Why not go for someone that requires lesser effort? Because sometimes we just can't imagine being with anybody else but him/her. After all, they say love is unconditional. 

So, what should you do when you are being discriminated by your potential in-laws?

1. Break up with your partner

Only if you aren't sure that he is the one and if you can't tell whether he is worth the effort.  Better now or never.

2. Get married after your potential in-laws enter the grave wtf

But unless they are already sick and old and lying on their deathbed, this option may not be applicable to all.

3. Sever ties with your potential in-laws

Who in the right mind would do that though? Remember filial piety! It runs in Asians' blood. Unless you marry an ang moh :/

4. Give up on your religion

Sorry but can you say the same about giving up sex or rice? No means no lah. Even philosophies don't anyhow change overnight. 

5. Respect each other and live in harmony

Of course, this option may be easier said than done. It certainly takes a significant amount of effort from both parties. If you believe that it would work, then by all means make it happen. But if you believe that it would fail, then your relationship will no doubt crumble. 

What would you do?