Difficulty In Apologizing

How many of us actually apologize whenever we do or say something wrong which upset somebody, whether it be family, friends or even strangers? Frankly, I rarely apologize to my family as I find it extremely difficult to do so. It seems much easier to apologize to my friends by sending him/her a message like “sorry for just now”, “I’m sorry for what I’ve done”, “sorry, I din mean it”, sorry, plz forgive me” etc. However, I find it awkward to say a SORRY, or even send it, write it to any of my family members.

Today, I offended my dad by saying something stupid (which I prefer not to mention) during dinner time. The moment I uttered it, I knew there’s gonna be a disaster. Bad, bad, this is really bad. I shouldn’t have said that. Unfortunately I couldn’t keep back what I’ve said. I felt really guilty. I couldn’t face him anymore. I quickly finished my dinner and ran away. Die, die. I didn’t feel like apologizing. I could hardly recall when was the last time I said a “sorry” to my family.

While dad was bathing, mum came forward and lectured me. I knew I was wrong, but it seems so hard for me to admit it infronta her. So I just kept quiet, bite my lips as she lectured me and nodded once in a while to indicate “understood”. After that, I thought I should make my very first attempt to apologize. After an hour or so, finally I took out all my courage to sms him. There weren’t any punctuation between the sentences though. So, you can imagine (no you don’t call it reluctant), I was kinda in a rush while typing the message, trying hard to hide my self-conscious and embarrassment.

So far I haven’t receive any response, probably because it is equally difficult for him to tell me that he has forgiven me too. At least, I’ve forgiven myself. What a relief! I’m really brave this time! Gotta use my brain before I say something next time. Blerkz.

Do not be shy to utter SORRY =)