Thursday, May 2, 2013

How I Got My JPA Scholarship Terminated for A Blog Entry. FML

Yea, story of my life. The despressing title kinda concludes what I’m going to write about following this paragraph. I actually drafted this quite some time ago for Project Listen but the approved version on their website was way shorter due to the word limit. Decided to share my story here once again since I didn’t post it here before this. Too lazy to include the pictures and scanned documents but I guess the dramatic story line is sufficient to capture your attention? Teehee.

The following story was featured on YB Tony Pua's blog way back in 2008 after I consulted him. Gotta salute him for putting so much effort in scanning all my relevant documents! Those are the things that I couldn't be bothered to include in this post. So if you have doubtss on the authenticity of my story, go check out his blog post! CK in the story refers to me, CopyKate. It's really funny reading back the incidence and all the comments! LOL.

It's absurd how some commenters judged me by saying that I since I could get connection to those politicians for appeal, I must have gotten my scholarship from the same connection -.- Hello, politicians are supposed to be there to help the people right? It's not that difficult to get their contact especially when it was close to the General Election at that period of time! Besides, anything is possible in times of desperation. What's the big deal about seeking help from a few high ranked politicians? 

Anyway, hope you can take some time to read this post. Even if you can’t stand my lengthy paragraphs, scroll all the way till the end to read my lesson of the day! :)


How my life has been transformed ever since I was expelled from college.

This had always been a shameful chapter of my life which I had chosen to keep a secret from others. But now that my life has made a big turn, I decided it’s time I share my story, hoping it will inspire all of you out there who feel like you are struggling in the darkest period of your lives.

I remember the proud expressions of my parents when I was awarded JPA scholarship to study Engineering in the United States. It was a dream I daren’t dream, to that faraway country where I had least expected. Before flying to the states, I was supposed to undergo one year of foundation at a local college. It was the same period of time when I first discovered blogging. Being a young enthusiastic blogger, I wrote about everyone and everything. Soon, I began to gain some fame in college by blogging on scholars’ campus life. Those were the days when random readers from the campus would come up to me and gave me their words of encouragement.

Unfortunately things did not stay that way for long. One day I was called to the head of department’s office. Apparently a senior was unhappy at the fact that I had criticized her sense of fashion on my blog, so she printed out copies and copies of my blog archive and handed to the head of department. It was not funny seeing my blog entries in black and white!  I knew things were about to get serious.
Apparently it was stated in the disciplinary booklet that students should not reveal anything within the campus to the public. They claimed that by posting up photos of the conservative attire guidelines and writing things that are happening in the college, I had breached the disciplinary code. Moreover, I was indirectly accused by the head for being a whore and a shame to the college because one of my photo captions says that I was camwhoring in front of the mirror -.-

I'm a whore, not.

It felt horrible to be standing alone in the office being bombarded by accusations from those lecturers! Never had I thought that my blog would have gained such unnecessary attentions. They threatened that I delete all blog entries related to the campus, failing which I would be reported to JPA for conducting bad disciplinary behavior. My scholarship was being jeopardized!!! I was so scared, so confused that day I immediately went back and deleted those blog entries (if you go through my July 2007 archive you’ll see only a few posts because I had deleted most of them). They also made me write a public apology on my blog so they would let the matter ease, to which I obeyed despite feeling the least sorry. I would do whatever as long as I don’t lose my scholarship, I told myself.

Everything was back to normal for a few months, until I received a letter addressed to my hometown during the semester break. It was a letter from JPA, a letter informing my parents that my scholarship was terminated due to my discipline problem! I felt the world collapsed on me. I was filled with regret, shame and disappointment. At the same time I felt anger rising from every part of my nerves. They promised not to report to JPA, didn’t they?! How could they have not honored their promise after making me delete my entries and write a public apology?! But I was only a young naïve girl back then. Who am I to argue with that corrupted government-founded college?

I went through months and months of appeal. It was one of the darkest, if not the darkest period of my life. The pain of losing that million dollars’ opportunity when I was already so close to it! Apart from that, I had to deal with questions from curious friends and relatives and worst still, the disappointment on my parents’ faces. I knew I had let them down. They had always been very proud of my results but now because of one innocent mistake, I had shattered their hopes and broken their hearts. They could never afford sending me to America for 4 years with their own savings. All this while they had believed that with my result, I could easily secure myself a scholarship and did not have to rely on them for education.

With my scholarship terminated, I couldn’t go back to college to continue the following semester. I couldn’t go to America. I was stuck at my hometown reflecting on the past and wishing I could turn back the clock. I wanted to get my scholarship back so badly! I didn’t know how else I could continue my life from then on. I scanned pages of documents, wrote numerous letters, met countless of politicians etc. Yet despite those attempts, my appeals resulted in no avail. Eventually I started to accept the fact that I was expelled for real, and that I was never going to study at the States. I left Johor and came to KL alone, ready to move on from the past to a new beginning of my life. With my SPM result, I was able to obtain a full scholarship from TARC for Cambridge A-Level’s and with my A-Level’s results, I managed to get 50% of my tuition fees waived in Sunway University for my bachelor degree, while the other half is covered by loan. My family didn’t have to spend on my education after all.

There were times when I wondered how my life would have been if I had gone to America. I couldn’t help being envious of my friends who managed to fly there without me and be jealous of that 4-years experience which I could have had if the horrible incident didn’t happen. At the same time I hated the girl who reported me and the head of department who did not honor our promise. But as I continued my life, I began to think that things happened for a reason because I am extremely happy and contented with my life at the moment. Many of my course mates back then heard of my story and deleted their blogs, fearing that they might be the next victims. But my passion for blogging did not die because of the tragedy. My blog had cost me that expensive scholarship, but it had taught me how to overcome ordeals and predicaments through the darkest days in life.

With my willpower and determination, I had no problem juggling a balance between work and study. The amount I earned as a freelance event model and blogger had paid for my trips to Melbourne, Bangkok, Taiwan and Seoul within these few years (and a few designer bags too XD). Today, even at this precise moment of writing my story, I am earning a decent amount of side incomes from my blog. I know very well that one day I will set my foot in America, except that it wouldn’t be a quest for success, but rather an indulgence through my success. Remember, it is not about the lost opportunity in your life, but rather what you can make out of it.

A few months back, I was acquainted with someone whose godfather happened to be the minister in charged of JPA. Ironically I found myself drinking with the minister who took away that million-dollar opportunity from me.

“Your result is excellent! Why didn’t you get a scholarship? Do you want to study in London?”
I merely laughed and think about what else my life has to offer.


And that’s the end of my story.

Meanwhile I googled myself and found this post and this post written on May 11 2007. The naive and innocent teen copykate being all excited over her JPA acceptance. Eager to pursue her destiny together with her smart ass high school mates. Heck I even listed who and who is going to which country! So happy for them ^^ Those were the old days~

Lesson of the day: vote wisely this coming Sunday! 5th of May 2013, the important date that will determine our destiny! Think before you contribute your support to the ruling party who is bound to terminate your child’s scholarship on the accusation of ‘disciplinary’ problem and proceed to direct the million-dollar funds to god-knows-whose pockets!!!

HAHA can’t believe I’m relating this issue to politics.

But yea, go back home this weekend and do your part! I’m really excited since it’s my first time voting! Kinda annoying they made me remove my nail polish though (couldn't stop myself from exclaiming my bimbo thoughts lol) T_T

If that corrupted party wins again imma show them my stained middle finger!

Or maybe not, since the stain could easily come off as I heard?! WTF


Chee Ching said...

Man, that hurts. I think I'll be devastated for life.

Yes let's go vote! :D

Kevin Tan Hong Ann said...

Whoa... Engineering degree in the States! How could you??? But anyways, don't take it so hard. You'll eventually go there someday. ;)

Copykate said...

Chee Ching: nah you wouldn't be. no matter what life throws at you, you'll get over it eventually. i used to think that my life was over without that scholarship. used to XD

Henry Tan said...

oh myyyyy! that's really really.... hmmm. anyhow u are doing great now, thats all it matters! and yes, vote them out!

Copykate said...

Henry: i knowwwwww. depressing stage of my life. FML. but yea everything turns out great now ^^

Copykate said...

Kevin: for some reason your comment ended up in my spam folder. wouldn't have noticed if i didn't check my mailbox. lol.

anyways, i realized that i hate calculus and engineering is really not my thing. i mean, can you imagine me being an engineer?! i would probably fuck up every machine and equipment within my reach T_T

Henry Tan said...

yuppp. luckily u didnt take engineering! or u would be my colleague now. LOL

Yuh Jiun said...

Omg that's so serious! Scholarship terminated just because of a blog post?! Glad that you're doing good now :)

LõRđ žăĉĸ said...

Glad to know that you're doing fine now! Live life like there's no tomorrow. Turn your back from yesterday and look towards tomorrow. =)

Copykate said...

Henry: nooooooooooos. is it a boring job? lol

Yuh Jiun: yea serious case. thanks thanks ^^

Lord Zack: i certainly will! thank you :')

Zulhilmi said...

Kate, Zul here your ex classmate when we were in Boston. I never had the chance to know the real situation behind the sudden termination but I wish you all the best now. That sucks really bad cause I blogged about college life too last time. You're right vote wisely!

Copykate said...

Zul: heyyy! i'm really glad to hear from you! it's been soooooooooooo long. thank you for your best wishes! hope you're doing great now! <3

Zulhilmi said...

Haha yeah it's been soooo long right! Who knows you are a model now and I am a part-time photographer. Thank you! Hope you're doing well too! :)

Katie ♥ said...

I commented when I first read the post but I dont know why it didnt go through :(

Anyway, I'm so proud of you and how you've handled all the obstacles in your life my love. You're truly an inspiration and you remind me to be a better person everyday. Life is an amazing journey, and there's so much for you to do and see still! It'll be wonderful, cause you deserve the best life my darling. Lots of love and see you in a few weeks xoxo

E. said...

Wow. An absolutely brilliant and inspirational post. Love your spirit, will-power and determination.

bacterium said...

the summary is, m'sia is not meant for smart people.

Copykate said...

Zul: you're a part-time photographer? that's so cool! take some great photos for me next time! lol

Katie: thank you so much darling! life is indeed wonderful, and even greater when i have you around XD see you real soon! xoxo

E: thank you for the compliment ^^ I guess you're the E from intec? hmm. .

bacterium: lol more like it's not meant for smart bitches wtf

E. said...

Nope. I am from Penang and have already started working life. I just happened to stumble upon your blog. No thanks necessary. :) I should be thanking you for sharing your precious life stories. :)

Anonymous said...


I salute you and manage to get through the hardship in such a young age.

If engineering is not your love, the termination of scholarship is not a big lose.

My friend's daughter has just given up JPA offer to study engineering course in Korea because she is not interested in engineering course.

I have given up the opportunity to work in the military after graduation and was asked to pay huge amount of compensation for my decision.

You as a blogger like me, you have to be prepared to face many challenges.

I was sued by Petronas for eight years. BN corrupt government controls everything even the court, yet they cannot beat me up in the court.

Disclaimer: I am full responsibility for my comments. BN or Petronas or Mindef or anyone can come to sue me if they are not happy with my posting here.


hui chin said...

Hi Ting Xin, came across this and realized I was truly the worst roommate ever. I didn't know what I could do to help and in the end I did nothing. Anyway, I am very happy for you as you have become stronger and more confident now! Wish you all the best :)

Copykate said...

nkkhoo: I'm so sorry to hear that. How long did she take before she realized that? Must have cost you a huge sum :(

hun chin: nah don't say that! There was nothing anyone could do at that point of time. You had been a great room mate and I truly enjoyed my stay with you throughout the semester ^^