Professor K's Guide to Scoring an Assignment

Professor K is none other than myself of course! LOL really bue paiseh. 2 days until my final exam of my final semester. By now I've submitted all the assignments required for my undergraduate so I decided to share with you some tips you might find useful!

xxx

New to college, no idea how to write a good piece of assignment? Or existing undergraduate constantly receiving low assignment scores? Fear not, let Professor K teach you! Here’s some essential guides for you to score well in your next assignment:

1. Engerish

Yes I know most of the time language is only like 5% of the entire assignment, but if you use perfect grammar and good sentence structures, chances are you have already secured half of your overall score! An articulate piece of work would make arguments sound legitimate, thereby creating a false impression on the writer’s intelligence (which is exactly what I’m trying to do now wtf). If your English is stuck at elementary level, I suggest you seek help from someone to edit your work before you submit it. But of course, who would give a damn on your boring assignment, let alone editing it for you??? 

Your boyfriend obviously, if you force him to. That being said, your boyfriend must have good proficiency of English (and smart too) otherwise he would be useless! Jeez. Next time before agreeing on being someone’s girlfriend, make sure he shows you his SAT score.

2. Why limit yourself to database journal?

Just cause they tell you Wikipedia isn’t a credible source, doesn’t mean you can’t use it! Wiki is my second best friend! (Google remains the top) There is so much information available on Wiki you see, and they are written by human, normal human-beings like us who don’t use alien language. Read up the information you need on a Wiki page, absorb them and incorporate them into your assignment, only then you borrow the reference from a journal that explains the same thing, except in alien language. It’s not wrong to do so! You understand the topic, you make your point, you include your citation, you happy, your lecturer happy ^^ Likewise for Google, just type in your keyword and BAAAAAAAM everything you need pops out! Who cares if the website isn’t legal? You can always grab the points and borrow your reference elsewhere. Teehee.

3. Don’t act smart

Yea yea go ahead and quote from in-depth research findings. If you don’t even know wtf you’re babbling, how else do you think your lecturer is gonna understand? Just cause you achieve your 3000 word count doesn’t mean you’re going to score! It doesn’t make sense to quote blindly from journals (told you not to ke-kiang, better use Google right -.-). Make sure you understand it thoroughly before you try to

4. Rephrase everything

I mean like, everything.

That includes your introduction, main points, elaboration, recommendations (which your lecturer expects you to think but really you know your own limit) and conclusion. Normally your friends would only rephrase the main ideas they got from other readings. But nah, you know you can simply copy intro, elaboration and conclusion as well right? Just rephrase it gao gao to avoid similarity index and make it sound like you wrote it yourself. And don’t be so stupid go include unnecessary in-text citation because you wrote it yourself remember? Of course, that’s only possible if you manage to find enough articles you’re likely to copy from. Easy peasy, Google! Just cause your search result doesn’t appear in Page 1 doesn’t mean you fail to locate it. Scroll to Page 2, 3, 4 and so on. Don’t be lazy!

5. Be a perfectionist for once

Okay I don’t mean like write a perfect essay that can score you full marks. For once, be meticulous when it comes to format and style! Justified your paragraphs and choose a suitable spacing (I always use 1.5). Times News Roman size 12 all the time, unless the instruction says otherwise. Make sure there’s a space after a comma before the next word and apply it consistently throughout your assignment. Mind your big small letters!!! The same thing applies for your reference list. If you’re using Harvard referencing, don’t forget vol. no. and pp. are all in small letter and there’s always a space after the dot. Trust me man, some uptight lecturers would pick on your slightest mistake and penalize your score. You dunno what’s going on in lecturers’ minds. They find pleasure circling your errors and deducting your marks :(

Keeping the above 5 tips in mind, scoring an assignment should be easy peasy! Feel free to share with me if you have any additional tip (only if they're more superior than mine!) Teehee.

Good luck and all the best!